‘This suffering destroys my quality of life, but I cannot sacrifice the only thing that makes me happy’

Since I realized that the temporary ringing in my ears is becoming permanent, a picture of me sitting with my children, helpless to hear their voice, has been haunting me.

Some years ago the fear of tinnitus made me think seriously to stop playing music. I would sacrifice the only thing that makes me happy and jump on another miserable profession. This decision turned out to be a mistake, and I got back to my passion soon.

I play almost every day and often twice a day. Ministry Sound, which is my second home, has one of the loudest sound systems in the UK. My spare time is spent in a studio or watching other artists in great concerts. So, it’s difficult to stop worrying about my tinnitus.

I know it will be my responsibility if this impairment makes me hate my own life. I am worried about the consequences of my decision to return to music business and every time I put on my headphones I feel guilty.

Knowing the importance of the situation, I take every precaution now. However, the fear of tinnitus does not allow me to enjoy what I love: playing music.

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